Just recently I overheard a tired mom in Barnes and Noble say aloud, “I have no motivation to get up in the morning and be with children. What happened to respect and kindness? Where did it go?” I have to say I was feeling a bit tired too that day and silently agreed that children (and adults) in the world we live in are finding it difficult to be kind and respectful to one another.
As a teacher and a parent this really hurt my heart and soul. With all that is going on in today’s world, it made me realize just how important it is to build a classroom community of kind and respectful humans. It also reminded me of the beginning of my career when I stepped foot in a public school in Brooklyn, NY as a brand new teacher with the school’s credo being, “Be Respectful and Kind,” just as simple as that.
It was then that I began doing some reflecting. I can’t say that I grew up around many acts of kindness myself, but one thing I did have was fear, a healthy sense of fear I think. I feared disappointing adults in my life. I feared my parents and my teachers. I wanted to please. I was nice to others. I think I was a respectful child who turned into a respectful adult but was I kind? Was I practicing kindness daily? Was I teaching and modeling kindness to my students? After reflecting upon this I made it my mission as an educator to coach students about what kindness is and to promote it in our classroom each and every day.
Some years kindness and respect came naturally among the elementary students that I taught. In some cases, it was clearly visible that students needed modeling and guidance with treating each other respectfully and with kindness. So we began with the basics by learning and practicing what it meant to be both respectful and kind.
Raising Self Awareness
What I found most is that some students were genuinely unaware of how unkind or disrespectful their actions and words. Some students were not intentionally being unkind or disrespectful. Some students didn’t have good models of kindness and respect in their lives. Some just needed a bit more TLC in these areas and some had some habits that they needed to break. I can’t say that this was an easy task, nor did we see any changes overnight, but slowly even with my toughest classes, we saw progress. We learned to listen to one another with our eyes, ears, and hearts before speaking, because speaking abruptly without thinking led to unkind words and triggered unkind reactions among peers. We reflected orally and wrote written reflections each week about our words and behaviors that were getting in the way of learning and building solid relationships with others. We took on a 30-day kindness challenge, which you could get here, and posted acts of kindness in our classroom as a visual reminder to what kindness looks like.
Taking a Closer Look
We watched this powerful video to get a different perspective of what it would be like to walk in someone else’s shoes. This sparked great conversations and raised some really neat questions among students. This definitely helped to make it more “real” when thinking about others. When talking about the empathy of humans and understanding book characters and relationships we often referred back to this video and the idea of “putting our glasses on.”
Learning From Others
We studied individuals who did great acts of kindness and had strong words to inspire others. We posted these quotes around our classroom to remind us of great people that change lives with their words and actions. These quotes became our “words to live by.”
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When you are kind to others, it not only changes you, it changes the world.” – Harold Kushner
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Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. – Mark Twain
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Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. – Dalai Lama
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The simplest acts of kindness are far more powerful than a thousand heads bowing in prayer. -Gandhi
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Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”– Henry James
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Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are. -Roy T. Bennett
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No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. – Aesop
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But remember, boy, that a kind act can sometimes be as powerful as a sword. -Rick Riordan
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Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness. – P.J. Palacio
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When given the choice between being right & being kind, choose kind. – R.J. Palaccio, Wonder.
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Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect if a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely. – Roy T. Bennett
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A person’s a person no matter how small. – Dr. Seuss
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Respect people’s feelings. Even if it doesn’t mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. – Unknown
I created and added these quotes to a banner that can be displayed in your classroom to promote and encourage a community of kindness and respect. You could check it out here. The banner sets come in watercolor and black and white! Here’s a sneak peek!
Teaching Kindness Through Books
No matter which grade you teach or how old your students are, they are never too old for books. Fill up bookshelves with books that teach students about kindness and respect with great examples to support it. There are so many wonderful books out there but here are a few of my absolute favorites!
Encourage and promote kindness and respect in the classroom by recognizing it! Give students a kindness or respect card when you or a student notices kind or respectful words or behaviors. This is simply for praise and recognition and are for your intrinsically motivated students. For your extrinsically motivated students, use these cards as part of an incentive program. Students can exchange or “cash” in their cards for a reward after they earn a certain number of cards. Get these cards here.
How do you promote kindness and respect in your classroom? Please share!
In the world we live in it is critical to bring kindness and respect back into classrooms each and every day to create kind and respectful human beings.
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Christine Weis is a passionate educator, classroom management coach, wife, and mom of two busy boys. She enjoys teaching, writing, and creating resources for teachers.
This is such a great message on bringing back kindness not just to the classroom but honestly everywhere. So few people have it that nowadays you wonder where it all began and it’s really in childhood. If we can get kids to remain kind, adults will do the same!
Danielle | FollowMyGut.com <3
This is such a great message on bringing back kindness not just to the classroom but honestly everywhere. So few people have it that nowadays you wonder where it all began and it’s really in childhood. If we can get kids to remain kind, adults will do the same!
Danielle | FollowMyGut.com <3
Thanks Danielle! I agree…we need to bring kindness back everyday and everywhere, among children and adults, and especially in the workplace. Thanks for reading!
Christine at For The Love of Teachers
Thank you for this encouraging post! Lately, the students have not been showing kindness towards each other at all! We have a morning meeting and I try to do things that promote a classroom community, but I know I needed to do something more. This will definitely help me with some places to get started. Thank you. One quick question, do you have a list of the people you study?
HI Beckie! Thanks for reading! I understand how you feel about students not being kind to one another. It breaks my teacher heart! But that motivates me to encourage and recognize kindness and respect more and more everyday. For tough groups, we did a Fill Your Bucket Friday activity. During our morning meeting students would write one kind thing about a classmate. We shared it as a class and it really helped build that kind and caring community. We also wrote Friday reflections to reflect on our words and behaviors that got in the way of building relationships. Show your students the video in my post. Make them put on their glasses and be more socially aware. Sometimes they haven’t got a clue!
To answer your questions about who we studied… We studied the people who wrote the quotes on our Kindness and Respect Quote banner. You can get my kindness banner at my Shop…right here at the Shop tab or at my TpT store..For The Love of Teachers Shop. The quotes were by Dalia Lama, Dr. Seuss, R.J. Palacio, Roy T. Bennett, Rick Riordan, Mark Twain, Henry James, etc. I hope this helps! The kids need to see, hear and practice kindness and respect in order to be kind and respectful.
Thanks so much for reaching out with your thoughtful comment! I appreciate it!
Christine at For The Love of Teachers
Thank you for this beautiful post. Throw Kindness Like Confetti
Thank you Alina! I say throw it like glitter…it’s way harder to clean up and it sticks around forever!! 🙂
Christine at For The Love of Teachers
Thank you for the great post. Very encouraging and so important to create a community of kindness
Thank you Lisa! I agree! Thanks for reading!
Christine at For The Love of Teachers
Perfectly stated. Many kids don’t have role models at home and it’s sad to say, but I’ve come across a few teachers who weren’t good role models themselves. I commend teachers who go the extra mile because it’s not an easy task, teaching kids who aren’t theirs to begin with, on how to be kind and respectful. SOME (not all) of the teachers I’ve seen here locally (when my kids were of school age) just gave up after getting burned out and that is such a shame. More of this is needed in our school system 💕
I hear you! Not all adults are modeling and teaching kindness and respect. Teachers today are more burned out than ever. I was burned out twice in my career and it was challenging. My goal is to support both teachers in this difficult profession which in turn will help all students. Thanks for reading and for your sharing your thoughts on this topic.
Christine at For The Love of Teachers
Such a great message! Kindness and respect are so key, and those values will live well into adulthood if they are properly emphasized. I love the books you picked out too. 🙂
Thanks Sarah…agreed! I love using books to teach just about anything and everything. Thanks for reading!
Christine at For The Love of Teachers
What a fantastic post – love your viewpoint on today’s kindness among adults and children. Just last night as I was having dinner with my mom at a restaurant a party of eight came in with a 1 1/2-year-old in tow. The child would just keep screaming to get attention constantly and it occurred to me how adults ignore such behavior and aren’t teaching kindness, respect or behavior for themselves as well as their child. Love your message to spread the word about being kind to one another and teach empathy and respect to all ages through banners, books, quotes, and videos. Thank you for a great post!
Ana, thank you for your thoughtful comment! Teaching kindness and respect definitely begins with adults. Sometimes it’s the adults that still need teaching.
Thanks for reading!
Christine at For The Love of Teachers
I love this post. Kindness and being respectful towards one another even if we have our differences are so important and yet so lacking in our society. Thanks for sharing.
Exactly…I agree! So sad! Thank you for reading!
Christine at For The Love of Teachers
We should be sprinkling kindness around everywhere, not just in a classroom. LOVE. xo.
Yes we should! Sprinkling kindness like GLITTER!!! You can never get rid of glitter…lol! Thanks for reading!!!
Christine at For The Love of Teachers